Bitch, I went to art school. I made the decision to never have money again years ago.
now that im in the space mood i’d like to remind each and every one of you that NASA drew a dick on mars. we drew a dick on another planet. that is mankind’s legacy.
THIS IS AN ACTUAL PHOTO OF THE SURFACE OF MARS. PLEASE NEVER FORGET THIS.
i think we’re out of ink
have you tried turning it on and off again
31 Favorite Horror Movies
Directed by Drew Goddard
- Cleanse them. Cleanse the world of their ignorance and sin. Bathe them in the crimson of….am I on speakerphone? - Mordecai
- These fucking zombies. Remember when you could just throw a girl in a volcano? - Hadley
- You’ve seen horrible things, an army of nightmare creatures. But they are nothing compared to what came before, what lies below. It’s our task to placate the ancient ones, as it’s yours to be offered up to them. Forgive us and let us get it over with. - The Director
- Cutting the flesh makes him have a husband’s bulge. - Marty
- An army of nightmares, huh? Let’s get this party started. - Dana
- No, society is binding. Right? It’s filling in the cracks with concrete. Everything’s filed or reported, logged, right? Chips in our kids heads so they won’t get lost. Society needs to crumble. We’re all just too chicken shit to let it. - Marty
- The movie’s opening was a deliberate attempt by filmmakers Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon to confuse the audience and make them think they walked in to see the wrong movie.
- The thermal coffee mug/bong was a fully functional mug and bong as portrayed in the film, the prototype of which cost $5000 to make.
- Much of Drew Goddard’s inspiration for this movie came from his own upbringing in Los Alamos, New Mexico, a place filled with scientists and co-workers all going about their business and living seemingly routine and ordinary lives even though they were building nuclear weapons that could potentially destroy the entire world. He talks about this in DVD special features interviews and commentary.
- Fran Kranz received extensive prop and behavior training in order to capture the stoner persona of Marty. He received a two-hour joint rolling session and a separate bong lighting session from expert consultants. In addition to the famous travel-mug bong, a number of more subtle marijuana paraphernalia appear in the film. These include Marty’s stash, his secret stash, a smaller pipe, a ‘tulip-joint’, and a joint kept in the pocket of his pants. The prop crew even designed the film’s own brand of rolling papers, ‘Smiling Buddha’ papers.
- The Latin that Dana reads from the diary is: “Dolor supervivo caro. Dolor sublimus caro. Dolor ignio animus.” It means: Pain outlives the flesh. Pain raises the flesh. Pain ignites the spirit.
- The entry date in the book they read from is April 4th. That is the same day that the George Orwell novel “1984” begins.
- Among the possible choices on the facility’s betting board are the following: Werewolf, Alien Beast, Mutants, Wraiths, Zombies, Reptilius, Clowns, Witches, Sexy Witches, Demons, Hell Lord, Angry Molesting Tree, Giant Snake, Deadites, Mummy, The Bride, The Scarecrow Folk, Snowman, Dragonbat, Vampires, Dismemberment Gobllins, Sugarplum Fairy, Merman, The Reanimated, Unicorn, Huron, Sasquatch/Wendigo/Yeti, Dolls, Zombie Redneck Torture Family, The Doctors, Jack O’ Lantern, Giant, Twins and Kevin.
- Just as the gods approach the surface, Dana and Marty are sitting between the monoliths of The Virgin (representing Dana) and The Fool (representing Marty).
He almost lost his life this day.
Kidnapper: Get in the fukin van
Me: Oh ok cool
Me: This is a febreze commercial right
Me: Smells pretty shitty in here to me tbh
(I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)
Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am?”
Customer: “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”
Me: “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”
Customer: “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”
(The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)
Me: “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”
Customer: “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”
(I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)
Owner: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”
Homeless Man: “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”
Owner: “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”
Homeless Man: “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”
(My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)
Homeless Man: *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”
Owner: *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”
Homeless Man: “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”
(Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)
Lucy loves to unstuff any and all toys she can get ahold of. Every. Last. One.